It's been 22 years since Arnold Schwarzenegger blew up the box office with Total Recall, and now Colin Farrell aims to do the same. History repeats itself—yet this year, the repetition is uncanny with Bruce Willis, Tom Cruise and even a pack of wolves making it feel like it's 1990 all over again. Have we gone back in time? We draw our extremely scientific parallels below.
1. Tom Cruise Divorces
The Tom Cruise of 1990 looks a lot like the Tom Cruise of 2012. His abs are still iron, his movies are still action-tastic (his characters in Jack Reacher and Days of Thunder could be drinking buddies), and his wives are still rotating. Twenty-two years ago, Cruise dropped Mimi Rogers, his wife of six years, in February of 1990. By that December, he was married to Nicole Kidman. And now that this summer, he's split from Katie Holmes, expect Cruise to pick up a college freshman and wed her by New Years.
2. Bruce Willis Refuses to Die Hard
It's been nearly a quarter of a century, but Bruce is still kicking ass. Sure, he doesn't have hair anymore, but his locks only weighed him down-bald Bruce is streamlined and ready for carnage. Die Hard 2 was one of 1990's big movies, and the fifth Die Hard (A Good Day to Die Hard) is shooting now, right at the same time he's blowing even more stuff up in The Expendables II. Still, there's nothing like having someone play a younger version of yourself to make you feel old, even if it's Joseph Gordon-Levitt in this fall's Looper.
3. An Expensive, Over-hyped Trilogy Ends
Back in the day, the nation was agog over the prospect of Back to the Future III. And sure, the fans were happy, but the studio only raked in 74 percent of what it earned on the previous outing. While The Dark Knight Rises is still one of the highest grossing movies period, it's lagging behind its forerunner, taking in almost $25 million less than The Dark Knight in its first ten days. Not to mention its costly budget of $250 million, enough to make even Bruce Wayne wince. Though if Chris Nolan decides to further follow in Robert Zemeckis' footsteps with a reboot of Death Becomes Her, we won't complain.
4. Wolf Fever
In 2012, we have Oscar-nominated Liam Neeson heroically fighting off wolves in The Grey. In 1990, Kevin Costner was the king of the wolf pack, earning Oscar laurels and critical groans in Dances with Wolves. (Moaned one critic, "This picture is seriously hampered by its tendency to linger over everything...not excluding its own good intentions.") And just weeks after Christmas 1990, teen hearthrob Ethan Hawke got wild and made girls swoon as the wolf-loving lead of White Fang, paving the way for Taylor Lautner to show off his decidedly un-furry pectorals in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part II.
5. Kristen Stewart is Born and Reborn
If someone had told the Stewart family that their bouncing baby girl Kristen, born in April of 1990, would 22 years later be giving on-screen birth to a semi-immortal half-vampire demon babe, they'd have assumed you'd watched the VHS of Rosemary's Baby a bit too much. But come this December, the star that is barely old enough to buy her own drinks will be playing mommy for an audience of besotted teenagers. Meanwhile, a post-scandal Kristen Stewart is shedding her innocent image and being remade as a fallen tabloid woman. They grow up so fast.