The oddly titled "This Thing of Ours"--not a

romantic comedy, but a crime drama--opens

with a tense scene: Mobsters, young and old,

around a table deciding what to do about a

longtime mafioso who's crossed the line. The

actors are new faces and seasoned vets,

including James Caan as a wheelchaired don

who must issue the life-or-death verdict. His

decision: Life.

Off he goes, and so does the film, as it

recounts the past three weeks of activity--by

gangster wannabes who launch a

billion-dollar internet bank scam--that led to

this fateful meeting. At that point, "This Thing

of Ours" replays the scene--only to have those

assembled, after the don's departure, instead

proceed with a death verdict for the oldtimer

who, as it's turned out, plays no key role in the

story. This apparently pivotal moment is thus

doubly inconsequential; its usefulness is

simply that filmmaker/star Danny Provenzano

gets to roll out Jimmy Caan twice with just one

cameo in the can.

And that's the problem with "This Thing of

Ours": It looks fine, it plays fine, it sounds fine,

but it has no consequence. So determined to

create a work in line with the "Casinos" and

"GoodFellas" and "Godfathers" of film lore is

Provenzano that he forgets that the crime

elements of those works are but MacGuffins;

the exploration of human character that lived at

their core is missing here.

Starring Danny Provenzano, Vincent Pastore and Frank Vincent. Directed by Danny Provenzano. Written by Ted A. Bohus and Danny Provenzano. Produced by Ted A. Bohus, Michael DelGaizo and Daniel Farash. A Small Planet release. Drama. Unrated. Running time: 100 min.