Benchwarmers

Scraping the bottom of the comedic barrel, "Benchwarmers" manages to make producer Adam Sandler's movies look positively Shakespearean in comparison. When Gus (Rob Schneider) sees a couple of nerds being tormented by bullies on the baseball field, he decides to give them some confidence by teaching them the basics of the sport. Then Mel Shmegmer (Jon Lovitz), a nerd-turned-billionaire, shows up and offers to bankroll Gus and his friends, and sets up a series of games against all the neighborhood teams. They're soon off and running and, believe it or not, winning, too -- and, not incidentally, providing inspiration to nerds everywhere. However, just as they're heading for the home stretch, a secret from Gus' past pops up, threatening to derail the team's chances of winning the championship.

"Benchwarmers" is idiotic to a fault, offering up tired bodily-function jokes, obvious double entendres and pretty awful performances by Schneider, Jon Heder ("Napoleon Dynamite") as a moronic teen and David Spade as your cliché thirtysomething video store clerk. What it doesn't offer is any reason for making a movie out of this lame excuse for a comedy, which steals (and dumbs down) a lot of jokes from the much wittier "Revenge of the Nerds." It also sends an oddly contradictory message, validating nerds but taking mean jibes at gay people and senior citizens, while tolerating cheating besides. Only the reliably funny Jon Lovitz delivers his lines with any aplomb, providing just a few laughs in this otherwise horrid movie. Starring Rob Schneider, David Spade, Jon Heder and Jon Lovitz. Directed by Dennis Dugan. Written by Allen Covert and Nick Swardson. Produced by Adam Sandler and Jack Giarraputo. A Columbia release. Comedy. Rated PG-13 for crude and suggestive humor, and for language. Running time: 81 min