So yesterday, as is often my wont of a morning, i was once again immersed in the great comforting warm bath that is the New York Times Arts section when yet another interesting and alarming news item jumped out and troubled my breakfast.

Seems a certain movie star/bad girl won't be playing the lead in a biopic about the most famous -- modesty forbids my using the appropriate word, but it rhymes with sock plucker -- of the 20th century.

To wit, from the Times:

Hollywood has waited many years to tell the story of the adult-film star Linda Lovelace, but it won’t wait any longer to tell that story with Lindsay Lohan. The director of Inferno, a planned film about the life of Lovelace, who starred in Deep Throat and other pornographic movies, said he had parted ways with Ms. Lohan and was pursuing another actress to play the role, The Hollywood Reporter said.

The part of Lovelace (née Linda Boreman), who became a household – or at least a bedroom – name of sorts in the 1970s after the multimillion-dollar success of Deep Throat, had been mentioned as a comeback vehicle for Ms. Lohan, the Mean Girls star who in October was ordered back to rehab after failing a drug test. (The real-life Lovelace became an anti-pornography advocate before dying of injuries from a car accident in 2002.) Matthew Wilder, the director of Inferno said on Saturday that Ms. Lohan was no longer involved with the film, due to “the impossibility” of obtaining insurance for her as well as “some other issues” that Mr. Wilder did not describe... “We have stuck by Lindsay very patiently for a long time with a lot of love and support,” Mr. Wilder said, [again] according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Sad news, I think; as anybody who's ever seen Lohan's delightful blowjob-in-the-rowboat scene from Georgia Rule (2007) knows, Lovelace was the role she was born to play.

I should add, for our younger readers, that Deep Throat (1972) was the first hardcore porn film to attract a mainstream audience; Lovelace starred as a woman whose clitoris was located at the base of her gullet, which meant she could only achieve orgasm during oral sex. Hey, as movie gimmicks go, it's no dumber than a bus with a bomb that's set to explode if it's going less than 50 mph.

I should also add that until I read the item in the Times yesterday I had forgotten that Lovelace's tragic death had nixed plans for her to star in Deep Freeze, a sequel in which her clitoris would be located at the bottom of an Amana refrigerator.